And Co-starring Jennie McCarthy as Emily Dickinson
For those of you who have had salacious fantasies about sharing a hot tub with Jane Austen, Hollywood now will spare you any further strain on your imagination. In “Becoming Jane“, the beauteous Anne Hathaway will portray the author in all her erotic allure. I can just imagine the commercial tie-ins with “Victoria’s Secret”–featuring the real Queen Victoria.
And this may lead to a Jane Austen craze in Hollywood. Here are the scripts that I am offering…
Quentin Tarentino’s “Regency Dogs“–in which Jane Austen hunts down and kills the Bronte Sisters.
Nora Ephron’s “When Jane Met Benny“–in which adorable super shiksa Jane (Meg Ryan) meets funny but neurotic Jewish Prime Minister (Adam Sandler).
Ron Howard’s “Jane Awesome“–in which the big-hearted writer sacrifices her own literary career to help a deaf Beethoven compose music, keep Lewis and Clark from getting lost, and save Western Civilization by beating Napoleon in a boxing match.