Your RDA of Ghoulash
And now for the headlines: Today North Korea launched a nuclear attack on Japan. A new and untreatable strain of bubonic plague has broken out in Canada and is predicted to infect the United States within 24 hours. But first, the latest developments on Anna Nicole Smith.
Citing the need for a thorough examination of Ms. Smith’s health insurance, the hospital today tested Ms. Smith for sickle cell anemia, prostate cancer, Tay-Sachs disease, and Hoof & Mouth. The hospital also gave her the GMATs. Although none of the test results has been formally announced, Ms. Smith has been accepted to Harvard Business School.
In political news, appealing to the Southern base of the Republican party, Rudy Guiliani, John McCain and Mitt Romney have each announced their respective paternity of Ms. Smith’s daughter. Several foundations and universities are also vying for the child and a possible $400 million trust fund. Stanford University and the Heritage Foundation have nominated the late Milton Friedman as the child’s father. SMU also has expressed an interest, stating that it would rather have a library named for Anna Nicole Smith than George Bush.
Ms. Smith is scheduled to appear next week on Larry King Live. She will be the better preserved corpse.