Your RDA of Irony

“von Clausewitz on War”; von Clueless on Iraq

No, Eric Cartman hasn’t lost weight.  You just mistook President Bush’s speech for an episode of South Park.  Our new and improved strategy in Iraq will be to increase the number of targets, so that the Iraqis will run out of ammunition.  The President got this idea from a Randolph Scott western…or was it a Ben Stiller movie?  The sooner the Iraqis use up their arrows (or dodge balls), the sooner the President will win.

Of course, finding the voluntary targets might be a challenge.  The Neo-Cons would love to fight in Iraq, but they are preoccupied helping the President open your mail.  (They summarize the long letters and explain any big words.)  The Administration was planning to ship over illegal aliens; however, they are now all claiming to be gay. 

(Alexander the Great and T.E. Lawrence proved that wasn’t a handicap in the Middle East, but the Commandude hasn’t seen those movies.)  

So, any volunteers?


  1. Alan Perlman says:

    War: old men bluster, young men die.

    According to the Vietnam paradigm (altough any of America’s harebrained foreign interventions could be used as a model), we are two Presidential elections away from another humiliating withdrawal. By 2012, American deaths will be in five digits, costs will be eating into the second trillion, the country will be torn apart, and one candidate will have to promise to get us out, which he/she will, in five more years. When will they ever learn?

  2. Richard Greb says:

    And we can bring back war protest folk songs. Alan’s already resurrecting
    Seegar’s flowers. I always liked the Peter Paul and Mary version.

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