Your RDA of Irony

Scapegoat for Hire

What can Donald Rumsfeld do next?  Such arrogance and incompetence are too valuable to waste. 

After all, every company needs a scapegoat. When a business is reeling from federal indictments, creditors’ liens or lawsuits from orphans, someone on the corporate roster should embrace the blame. Unfortunately, most executives, especially the guilty ones, lack the talent for self-sacrifice. They will deny everything, demand exorbitant “retirement” packages or squeal to the grand jury. The company, the media and the investors deserve a more obliging scapegoat.

Donald Rumsfeld is available.

Yes, corporate America, he is your perfect dupe. Hire him as the blameworthy executive, and then incriminate him at press conferences and stockholders’ meetings. For a suitable severance package, he can be humiliated and fired. If the company is a Japanese subsidiary, he can also feign suicide. The public will love the spectacle, and it might even improve employee morale.

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