Posts Tagged ‘ads’

Slander of the Free and the Home of the Brazen: How to win an election

Posted in General on September 13th, 2008 by Eugene Finerman – Be the first to comment


Would Barack Obama betray this country by selling illegal–and foreign–drugs to George Bush while America was fighting international terrorism? Could Barack Obama be that evil? And do you think that he would even pay taxes on those cocaine sales–money America needed–undermining and depriving our brave troops of the weapons and supplies to protect themselves AND YOU!

John McCain and Sarah Palin know what made America great–and it wasn’t cocaine!

I am John McCain and I approve this message.

The controversial ad eclipsed the other stories of the day: the nuclear war between Pakistan and India, China’s purchase of the Treasury Department, and Lindsey Lohan’s conversion to Judaism. Journalists were clamoring for more details.

Had President Bush really purchased cocaine from Senator Obama? Press Secretary Dana Perino refused to respond, saying that it would be improper to comment on the investigation of Senator Obama’s involvement in drugs, tax evasion, terrorism or any unsolved murders in Hawaii, Illinois or Washington D.C.

The Obama campaign denied the allegations and–after hours of discussions–called them “lies.” But the media demanded the Democrats prove that the Republicans were lying. The McCain campaign quickly produced this ad.

Barack Obama has called John McCain a liar. A wounded veteran. A prisoner of war. An American hero. But Barack Obama calls him a liar. Is this Obama’s idea of change…the same old politics of personal attacks? Obama should be ashamed of himself. America is.

I am John McCain and I approve of your righteous indignation.

The following news cycle–30 minutes later–the media asked “Should character assassin Barack Obama be forced to withdraw from the Democratic ticket?” After two minutes of questioning by Wolf Blitzer, Nancy Pelosi capitulated. Her Botox showing the strain, Speaker of the House Pelosi said “the Democratic Party needs a candidate beyond reproach-or at least one that the Republicans wouldn’t want to hurt. Maybe Joe Lieberman will take us back.”

Lieberman refused, however, unless he could have John McCain for his co-president. Obama stayed on the ticket despite demands for his indictment and his subsequent treatment for catatonia. Even in an incoherent stupor, Obama still won the Presidential debates if not the election.

In a bipartisan gesture, President McCain granted a blanket pardon to Senator Obama “just in case he actually did any of that stuff.”