On This Day

Plantagenet Birth Control

Posted in General, On This Day on September 30th, 2006 by Eugene Finerman – Be the first to comment

On this day, in 1399, the Duke of Lancaster decided to promote himself King of England (and an unwilling Wales). To become Henry IV, however, he first had to oust his cousin Richard II. But no one except Richard seemed to mind.

Richard II had the rare distinction of being both unethical and incompetent. The progressive nobles despised his blundering misrule. The conservative lords loathed his personal conduct; Richard was a bit too poetic and he practiced hygiene before it was fashionable. Someone was going to murder him, and the reformist cousin Henry struck first.

But then the conservative cousins in the dynasty, pretending to avenge Plantagenet family values, tried to wrest the throne for themselves. This struggle lasted for 85 years and 8 Shakespeare plays.

By 1485, the English throne had become quite democratic. Anyone could seize it. The surviving claimant Henry VII based his right to the throne on being the illegitimate half-second cousin, once removed, of Henry VI. (He was also the illegitimate half-nephew but that family connection was less prestigious.)

The Recipe for English

Posted in General, On This Day on September 28th, 2006 by Eugene Finerman – Be the first to comment

On this day in 1066, Normandy’s Duke William the Bastard invaded England in the hope of improving his nickname.

But for him, we would be speaking Old English and sound like we were gargling Wagner. However, the Normans grafted their Norwegian-accented French onto the conquered language, creating the hybrid called Middle English. Its vocabulary was a scramble of French and German, and the language still had that Germanic tendency to elongate words by pronouncing each and every letter as a s-y-l-l-a-b-l-e. Fortunately, the Bubonic Plague and the Wars of the Roses gave people the incentive to speak quickly, producing Modern–recognizable–English.

So, if you happen to see Queen Elizabeth today, thank her for her great,great,etc. grandfather.