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I was going to write about the Oklahoma Land Rush, which probably would have meandered into discussions of slave-owning Indian tribes who fought for the Confederacy, a dreadful novelist named Edna Ferber, and the inexplicable existence of a Naval ROTC at the University of Oklahoma.
But we have a breaking news story….
On behalf of the census, the Social Security Administration and the future, I would like to welcome Benjamin Wyatt Miller to the world. As I probably would admit to a grand jury, I am a friend of Master Miller’s grandfather–the somewhat inestimable Bob Kincaid. So I can imagine what a dismaying annoyance Bob was in choosing the child’s names. Ancient Scot that he is, Bob still feels some allegiance to the Stuarts; so he might have campaigned for a moniker like MacClaymore Caledonald. On other the hand, Bob would want his grandson’s name to reflect American history and culture: Civil Liberty Valance. (Bob is convinced that John Wayne and Jimmy Stewart shot Lee Marvin only because he was the town Democrat.) Of course, Bob did consider the possibility of a granddaughter and he wanted a name that would determine her political preferences; Newdelia.
Nonetheless, Benjamin Wyatt makes a good name–even if it is an incongruous pairing. Benjamin is a Hebrew name, meaning son of the right. This would suggest that Benjamin was a Paleo-Neo-Con, but it really was his father Jacob’s attempt to improve the boy’s self-image. The child was originally named Benoni which loosely translates to “you pathetic loser, you killed your mother in childbirth.” Somehow, Benjamin seemed a kinder name.
Wyatt originally was the Angle-Saxon name Wigherd. If meant literally, a herd of wigs in Angle-Saxon England would confirm the existence of the medieval Rotary Club; that horrifying revelation could be the plot of the next Dan Brown novel. However, Wighard actually means “war-hardy.” Of course, if the Angle-Saxons really were that “wigherd”, the Normans couldn’t have changed the name to Wyatt. (In hindsight, Hastings might prove a luckier name.)
In any case, welcome to the world Benjamin Wyatt Miller. Your honorary great-uncle Eugene will help you with your history homework.
The young Master Miller is very lucky to have such a fine upstanding Grandfather and a wonderful Grandmother Agnes. Having you, honorary great-uncle Eugene, just adds more spice to the mix.
Congratulations to Bob and Agnes.