The Verdict
Posted in General on May 24th, 2010 by Eugene Finerman – 1 Comment
‘Law and Order’ Is Over: Last Episode Tonight
Narrator: In the criminal justice system, television exploits two separate yet equally important sources: what’s in The New York Post and what’s taught in the scriptwriting class at Yale.
Pizza deliveryman: Ya know, I once delivered to Julian Schnabel. Pepperoni and black olive.
Doorman: I bet Marcel Proust woulda ordered in a lot, too.
Pizza deliveryman: Ya, but reclusive invalids are lousy tippers.
s.d. Walking to the elevator, the pizza guy pushes the button. The elevator door opens, revealing the body of “Law and Order” producer Dick Wolfe.
Smarmy young cop wishing he were Jerry Orbach (as do we all) surveys the crime: 80 stab wounds. Usually, ten is enough to get you cancelled.
Exhausted, depressed Lieutenant now fearing her next job will be doing August Wilson plays at Dinner Theaters: He needed just one more season to break the record. Yes, he was running out of crimes. We did Leopold and Loeb six times, but we usually cast different actors. Follow the leads.
Smarmy young cop confronts elderly man at shuffleboard match: So you were worried that Dick Wolfe was going to break your record.
Eighty-seven year old James Arness beats up Jeremy Sisto. (Feel free to applaud.)
Lieutenant visits young smarmy in hospital: Jack Kevorkian is on You-Tube bragging that he killed Dick Wolfe.
Sam Waterston, in between doing commercials as the upscale Billy Mays, confronts Dr. Kevorkian: So you are going to claim that this was a mercy killing.
Kevorkian: For the audience.
From the archives: https://finermanworks.com/your_rda_of_irony/2008/07/17/eugenes-lunchtime-theater/
And let’s not forgive the historic significance of this day: https://finermanworks.com/your_rda_of_irony/2009/05/24/the-art-of-saving-souls-2/