Posts Tagged ‘The Maccabees’

Mel Gibson Presents…

Posted in General on April 13th, 2012 by Eugene Finerman – 2 Comments

Warner Bros. has put on hold a controversial Mel Gibson movie project about the Jewish Maccabee revolt in the 2nd Century B.C. after reading the script by writer Joe Eszterhas, TheWrap has learned.

I have the script that Mel Gibson wants…

The Maccabres

Judah, played by Larry David, operates an orphanage and bakery. One day, while looking for some missing students, Aristotle (played by Ian McKellen) passes by and offers Judah all the benefits of Greek civilization: democracy, medicine, theater, philosophy, and physical fitness. In return, Aristotle only asks that Judah and his type be less vile.

Of course, Judah is appalled by the idea of physical fitness and so crucifies Aristotle. But he is willing to steal the other ideas. It turns out that Judah is quite good at theater and medicine, but he drives all the gentiles out. Worse, his form of democracy would only let Communists vote. As for philosophy, Judah makes it completely incoherent; so people mistake him for a financier. With Judah controlling all the banks, the Greeks, the elves and the hobbits have no choice but to revolt against his tyranny.

Alexander the Great (played by Mel Gibson), Confucius (Jackie Chan) and Joan of Arc (Jodie Foster) lead the successful crusade. They burn Judah at the stake and the fire miraculously lasts eight days.

Yes, there are preposterous historical inaccuracies; did you expect otherwise from Mel Gibson?