Don’t Let the Little Children Come Unto Me
Posted in General on April 3rd, 2010 by Eugene Finerman – 2 Comments
Pope’s priest: Abuse flak like anti-Semitism
Personal preacher says accusations similar to ‘collective violence’ on Jews
I am sure that the Vatican media department has issued a clarification of that…..
“Of course, we didn’t mean that Jews are attractive enough to molest. Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill–obviously not. Maybe Fred Savage when he really young. But Corey Haim certainly wouldn’t have been worth the trouble getting to third base–or the 11th station of the Cross. No, we were only comparing the fact that we are claiming a statue of limitations for what we did, and the Jews are claiming one for what they didn’t do.”
If the Church hired me as its media consultant (and I am willing to be paid in gelato), I would recommend the repeal of the Council of Trent. Meeting in the mid-sixteenth century as a belated response to a few defections in Northern Europe, the Church Council attempted to clean up its more sordid corruption. It would still be in bed with the most repressive regimes in Europe (hello Spain) but not with any attractive Italian women. This time it was going to be serious about celibacy! So Renaissance versions of Frank Langella would no longer be hitting on the ancestral prototypes of Sophia Loren, Claudia Cardinale and Monica Belluci. (Well, that takes the arch out of the archbishop!) Until that Council the Cardinals actually did not even have to take religious orders; so they had ignored the celibacy bit as easily as they did the vows of poverty.
The Council did not exactly cure Protestantism, and but it did keep unbridled heterosexuals out of the clergy. Of course, that led to other problems. Instead of child support, the prelates now are spending fortunes of hush money. In hindsight, the Church was better off when its bastards were merely literal.