Your RDA of Irony

Thoughts from a Sentimental Tyrant

Yesterday was my birthday, and I am now afraid to weigh myself. Two birthday cakes might seem excessive, but both the key lime cheesecake and the lemon layer cake (with white chocolate frosting) do protect me from scurvy. I am sure that the chocolate raisins also have some medical justification. At least my other appetite was indulged, too: a book on Byzantine art.

I certainly would like to thank all of you who wished me a Happy Birthday.

On the other hand, I am tempted to cancel the subscription of everyone who didn’t. Why should I be any less petty and vindictive than George Bush or Caligula? Am I supposed to be too mature? Considering that I am gorging myself on two birthday cakes and chocolate raisins, I don’t think my maturity has yet to occur.

But I am going to relent. Perhaps I am just too lethargic to be a conscientious tyrant. Even Caligula found that tyranny could be exhausting. When told that Judea refused to worship him as a God, Caligula considered whether or not to exterminate the province. He finally decided that “people who don’t worship me are misguided rather than criminal.”

I can be that lenient.

  1. Dennis says:

    Thank you kind Sir for your kind
    forgiveness . I hope you enjoyed both cakes . I would think they covered several food groups . Happy Belated Birthday .

  2. Rothgar says:

    So now you tell us.

    Happy Birthday

  3. Peggles says:

    Regarding the chocolate covered raisins – ANYTHING with chocolate is good for you – except white chocolate, which is not true chocolate. I learned that from Jeopardy!

    Your advanced years have obviously brought you wisdom and benevolence (and your birthday goodies have probably brought you love handles.)

    Hope you have many more great birthdays!

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