Gone With the Wig
Sen. Trent Lott plans to resign his seat by the end of this year. The Mississippi senator gave no specific reason but said he has “other opportunities” he wishes to pursue.
He did deny that he would be managing the Presidential campaign of Strom Thurmond. “Strom hasn’t asked me. For the time being, I just want to sit back with the grandkids and watch “Birth of a Nation”.
However, the timing of this resignation only fuels rumors about the fiscal irregularities concerning Mr. Lott’s toupee. Regarded as the only construction by Halliburton that actually works, the $ 8 billion wig was billed to NASA. However, a NASA spokesman defended the value of the expenditure. “That toupee is the prototype of the next generation of space craft. First, see how the wig is suspended from Mr. Lott’s head at a 45 degree angle; it defies gravity. And that titanium structure is so flexible that, despite its two-foot diameter, the wig can still fit under the senator’s hood.”
Me, I’m guessing Mr. Trent got a little love note from Larry Flynt. You know: the one that begins “Dear Trent, Is this you in the picture of a boy toy in a stunning taffetta frock?”
Flynt promised us one of those awhile back, and I’m willing to bet this is the fruit of that adventure.
The Repiglickin Party is a veritable sideshow of sexual freakery and hypocrisy, and I’m guessing that Mr. Flynt has some rather explicit records of Senator Lott getting his (rubber/diaper/little boy/spanking) freak on.
Are you suggesting that every Southern Republican wants to be Scarlet O’Hara? Wouldn’t they at least publicly pretend to be Melanie Hamilton?