Your RDA of Irony

Next to Godliness

Responding to reports of Senator Craig’s fun-raising activities, the Heritage Foundation has denounced public washrooms. “These cesspools of socialism only encourage the use of bodily functions. These are just liberal vices, the byproducts of digestive permissiveness. It is disgusting enough that anyone would commit such acts at all, and it is certainly not the role of government to facilitate such filth with public lighting or plumbing. Any form of squatting should be restricted to prayer.”

The Heritage Foundation has propose a constitutional amendment to outlaw bodily functions. “This will distinguish America from the rest of the dirty world. A shining city on the hill would not need sewers.”

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