Crime in a Good Cause
“GONZALES, MUELLER ADMIT FBI BROKE LAW
WASHINGTON – The nation’s top two law enforcement officials acknowledged Friday the FBI broke the law to secretly pry out personal information about Americans. They apologized and vowed to prevent further illegal intrusions.”
In addition to acquiring topless photos of Jennifer Aniston, FBI agents also saw advance screenings of upcoming episodes of “24“, “Battlestar Galactica” and “Rome“.
The agents allegedly used this advance information to make wagers. FBI Director William Mueller was said be offering 5-to-1 odds that Octavian wins the battle of Actium. Sources report that Secretary of Education Margaret Spelling took the bet.
When confronted with the charges of inside information and gambling, Director Mueller promised that all profits would be spent on Jenna Bush’s book.
Education Secretary Spelling is said to have called her boss, George Bush, to ask him what “odds” are.
“You’re odd, Maggie,” guffawed RaisinBrain, hollering “Hey, Uncle Dick! I made a funny!”