Posts Tagged ‘Tom Cruise’

Sunday Sundry

Posted in General on July 1st, 2012 by Eugene Finerman – Be the first to comment
 
Musing #1:
 
This is how the ad began…
Must foster an inclusive work environment and respect all aspects of diversity. Must demonstrate and value differences in others’ strengths, perspectives,…
 
As the Senior Communications Manager you must be equally willing to lie to the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times (although the Journal is usually willing to lie for us).  You must respect the diversity of our corporate vice presidents–showing the same groveling deference to the morons in marketing and the gnomes in legal.  (You are free to hope that they kill each other, but you cannot pick sides.)  Your writing must show an ecumenical incoherence; it wouldn’t be fair if anyone understood our annual report.
 
Musing #2
 
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Divorcing
Dominic Strauss-Kahn and Wife Divorcing
 
You don’t think that this is a coincidence.  We can rule out a Tom and Dominic combination. Dominic has never shown that inclination; and if Tom had an appetite for decrepit old Jews, wouldn’t he be hitting on the cast of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”  But what about Anne Strauss-Kahn and Tom?  Who wouldn’t fantasize seducing the chairlady of Paris’ Hadassah?  But Tom does have one standard/fixation and Anne fails it miserably–she is shorter than he is.  (I know that seems physically impossible, but it is true.)  And Tom likes his women towering over him.  What about an Anne and Katie situation?  Imagine “Facts of Life” with Charlotte Rae and Nancy McKeon that way…Showtime is probably working on the remake right now! 
 
Nonetheless the most probable combination is Dominic and Katie.  He probably offered to help her with her GED, and you can guess what happened next.  (“Let moi demonstrate the plot of ‘Madame Bovary’.”)  And aside from the chance of getting an A, why would Katie allow such a thing to happen?  After Scientology, anything seems improvement.
 
p.s.  Let’s not forget the historic significance of this day:  http://finermanworks.com/your_rda_of_irony/2008/03/31/cheeri-opium/

Valkyrie Liaison

Posted in General on April 24th, 2008 by Eugene Finerman – Be the first to comment

The German aristocracy had always despised Hitler’s table manners. By 1944, they had noticed that some countries disliked him, too–and were expressing their disapproval by leveling German cities and annihilating German armies. In an attempt to salvage something of their country, a number of these aristocrats plotted to kill the Fuhrer on July 20, 1944. Their plan was called “Operation Valkryie” since they apparently were hoping to free Wagner from Hitler, too. A bomb in a briefcase was carried into a conference with Hitler. The conspirators did succeed in getting streets and high schools named for them–at least in the new and improved Germany. (Austria has never heard of them…or Hitler.)

And now the film “Valkryrie”, starring that great German actor Tom Cruise, has been produced. (No, despite being short, dark-haired and unbalanced, Cruise does not play Hitler.) However, the film is rumored to be a bigger bomb than was planted near Hitler. Of course, the film’s dialogue would be hysterical; half of the cast is German, nearly half of the cast is Royal Shakespeare Company British, and then there is one California high school graduate.

A greater problem, however, would seem to be the modern audience’s ignorance of history. Your average American adolescent only knows World War II as a video game. Although teenagers have heard of Hitler, they would likely identify him as a Moslem who fought against Lincoln. And your teenage film viewer finds history laborious with all those details. Anything with a complicated plot should at least be science fiction and have great special effects. So, perhaps the film should be reedited to make the German officers into Jedi knights.

The public might also want a more recognizable villain than Adolf Hitler. Rupert Murdoch would be an obvious choice but he might refuse to advertise the film. There also has to be a way to explain why everyone in the film is in uniform. Hmm, I think I have the answer….

VALKYRIE–the story of a group of bellhops trying to kill Donald Trump.