Posts Tagged ‘slot machines’

Slot Machinations

Posted in General on July 10th, 2012 by Eugene Finerman – 10 Comments

Yesterday I found myself in a casino.  No, I did not play any of the tables.  I had to save my luck for the auditions of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire.”  After all, I was one of some 800 people vying to stand next to Meredith and guess either the capital of France (for $1,000) or the square root of Kanye West’s social security number (for $500,000).  In four weeks I will know whether or not I have a prayer, and then so will you. 

While waiting in line for the audition,  I did notice the desperate variety in the slot machines.  Apparently, the prospect of losing one quarter in the hope of winning fifty is not incentive enough.  Today’s slots need themes!  I saw one for “My Magic Pony”.  That should appeal to all the five-year-old girls at the casino.  Maybe it was intended to lure their grandparents–“Darling, look where I lost your college fund!”  But I was especially impressed with “The Sex in the City” slot machine.  Perhaps I should have invested a dollar to see how the game worked.  Obviously, the orgasms and tribulations of those four Manhattan women could not be scored by six oranges in a row.  No, I imagine the scoring would be…

Three Cosmopolitans in a row–$5.

Four Kim Cattrall nude scenes–$20

Five non-abusive heterosexual males in New York–$100

Six Manolo Blahnik shoes–enough to pay for one pair.

How could I resist?  The thought of losing a dollar to Sheldon Adelson….

 And let’s not forget the historic significance of this day (and imagine John Calvin on “Sex in the City”; well, he’d be more fun than John Knox):  http://finermanworks.com/your_rda_of_irony/2009/07/10/the-joys-of-misery-and-the-embarrassment-of-evolution/