Posts Tagged ‘Robin Hood’

Post-Modern Medieval

Posted in General on May 15th, 2010 by Eugene Finerman – 1 Comment

New “Robin Hood” for Our Times

So the critics say.  If that is the case….

Oxford graduate Marion Loxley was the vice damsel of  Serf Resources at Bayeaux Tapestries but lost her job when the company relocated its manufacturing facilities to China.  As Loxley lamented, “Their silk is cheaper than our wool.  If the outsourcing and trade deficits continue, Genghis Khan will own half of England.” 

Robin Hood returned from the Crusades a bitter man.  “I have a painful case of archer’s shoulder, and you’d think a veteran was entitled to free leeches and bleedings.  Nope, the Crown tells me to go to a church and have a relic rubbed on me.”

In his campaign to seize the throne of England, Prince John is hiring village idiots and organizing them into a network of town criers.  Their chief job is to proclaim that King Richard is really a secret Moslem.  “It probably happened on the Crusades” exclaimed Crier Limbough.  “If he dares deny it, he has to prove that he is not circumcised.  And everyone should demand that proof.”

The origins of Richard’s mother were also questioned.  “What kind of name is Eleanor” warned Crier Becque.  “People who can read tell me that ‘El’ is Arabic.  And where exactly is Aquitaine?  I hear that it is mighty close to Spain, Spain where the Moors are!”

When told that alleged harem girl El-Anur was also the mother of Prince John, Becque dismissed that as only a rumor and “I don’t stoop to that.”