If you sensed a cosmic disturbance and had nightmares of Adam Sandler and Joan Rivers in “Brigadoon”, let me explain the cause. Last night, in a gesture of ecumenicalism and anthropological curiosity, my synagogue had a “pulpit exchange” with a Presbyterian church. We welcomed our guests with tartan yarmulkes. Their minister’s sermon spoke of the common bond between Scots and Jews, specifically comparing Robert Burns and George Burns. (They were born the same year; it says so in Wikipedia.) I will add that the Mourners’ Kaddish did sound better with bagpipes. We should consider using them instead of shofars.
After the service, my temple hosted a reception catering to our guests’ classic cuisine: oatmeal and Scotch. You know, the oatmeal does taste better with the Scotch. After my fourth bowl, I performed a one-man reenactment of the battle of Culloden. Of course, the historical accuracy was impeccable, but I may have overstepped propriety by using the Torah as a claymore sword. In fairness, however, we are a Reform congregation and this was the most use of the Torah since October.
This Sunday, our rabbi will speak at their church and no doubt compare the patterns on their kilts and our sports jackets.