Posts Tagged ‘October 15’

L’Affaire and Balanced

Posted in General, On This Day on October 15th, 2015 by Eugene Finerman – 2 Comments

October 15, 1894: France Needs a Scapegoat

On this day in 1894, Captain Alfred Dreyfus was arrested for espionage, accused of giving France’s military secrets to Germany. The charge itself seems incredible. What would the vastly superior German army learn from spying on the French.  Souffle recipes?  The Germans would have ruined them anyway by adding sausage and potatoes.

Dreyfus also happened to be innocent. However, the Army had reached its verdict before the court-martial, and any inconvenient contradictions–such as the evidence–were considered an insult to the image of the army.  Dreyfus had to be guilty, and the facts were irrelevant.   The Conservatives of the time were indignant that anyone would weight the innocence of one man (and a circumcised bourgeois at that) against the honor of the Army.

Here is the updated version of the reactionaries’ reactions:

Michael Medved: The skewed liberal perspective is missing the real story. This situation really is a compliment to the French Army. A Jew can be an officer! I am thrilled to know that. What a tribute to this country! Every Jewish boy in France can grow up to be a Captain Dreyfus!

Bill O’Reilly: What is Dreyfus’ problem? If he didn’t want to be a scapegoat, why is he Jewish? It is what these people are good at, that and violins. Talk about an easy job, for doing nothing, he is going to spend a few years at a tropical resort. You and I should be so lucky, but we have to work for a living.

Ann Coulter: Of course, Dreyfus is guilty. The army ordered him to be guilty and he refused. That is the definition of treason.

Donald Trump:  You can see the pattern.  Alfred, Alsace, alien, Allemagne, allied to the Ottoman Empire which worships Allah.  And what kind of name is Ottoman?  Otto is definitely German.  So Germany and the Ottoman Empire are actually the same country, and Alfred Dreyfus is really a Moslem.

Dressed to Kill

Posted in General on October 15th, 2010 by Eugene Finerman – 2 Comments

Republican congressional candidate Rich Iott is bewildered by the hostile reaction to his fondness for Nazi SS uniforms.  The poor man just couldn’t think of another way to express his enthusiasm for beer and marzipan.  Well, I can empathize.  After watching “Going My Way”, I thought it perfectly natural to impersonate Torquemada.  (His way of getting people to reach high notes was as effective as Bing Crosby’s.)  The restraining order from the Archdiocese has persuaded me otherwise.  Now wiser, I can suggest to Mr. Iott a number of historical roles where he still get away with mass murder. 

For instance, he could be a Crusader.  Both the costumes and religious wars are chic.  Even if Mr. Iott can’t find any Saracen impersonators, he can always stage a siege of  Dearborn, Michigan.  He can also attack colleges as bastions of heresy.  (The Cathars really weren’t liberals, but none of them are left to protest.  That Crusade was a success.)  The Greek Orthodox are also fair game; robbing a coffee shop could be considered a reenactment of sacking Constantinople.  As for the Jews, those massacres are well past the statute of limitations; Eric Cantor might offer his endorsement as well as thanks for not killing him.

But if Iott would like a historical role that expresses family values, hatred of liberals, and a successful healthcare policy, he should impersonate Catherine de Medici.  Having nine children and sponsoring the massacre of Huguenots, Catherine de Medici embodies the Republican pro-life platform.  She also is remembered for her innovative way of providing medicine.  Laced into books and gloves as well as delicious additions to meals, her pharmaceutical treatments were remarkably effective.  Mr. Iott could recommend a similar program for Medicare and Medicaid recipients.

And if Mr. Iott tires of portraying Catherine de Medici, he can use the same dress to impersonate J. Edgar Hoover.

p.s.  Let’s not forget the historic significance of this day:  http://finermanworks.com/your_rda_of_irony/2009/10/15/laffaire-and-balanced-2/

L’Affaire and Balanced

Posted in General, On This Day on October 15th, 2009 by Eugene Finerman – Be the first to comment

October 15, 1894: France Needs a Scapegoat

On this day in 1894, Captain Alfred Dreyfus was arrested for espionage, accused of giving France’s military secrets to Germany. The charge itself seems incredible. What would the vastly superior German army learn from spying on the French.  Souffle recipes?  The Germans would have ruined them anyway by adding sausage and potatoes.

Dreyfus also happened to be innocent. However, the Army had reached its verdict before the courtmartial, and any inconvenient contradictions–such as the evidence–were considered an insult to the image of the army.  Dreyfus had to be guilty, and the facts were irrelevant.   The Conservatives of the time were indignant that anyone would weight the innocence of one man (and a circumcized bourgeois at that) against the honor of the Army.   

Here is the updated version of the reactionaries’ reactions:

Michael Medved: The skewed liberal perspective is missing the real story. This situation really is a compliment to the French Army. A Jew can be an officer! I am thrilled to know that. What a tribute to this country! Every Jewish boy in France can grow up to be a Captain Dreyfus!

Bill O’Reilly: What is Dreyfus’ problem? If he didn’t want to be a scapegoat, why is he Jewish? It is what these people are good at, that and violins. Talk about an easy job, for doing nothing, he is going to spend a few years at a tropical resort. You and I should be so lucky, but we have to work for a living.

Ann Coulter: Of course, Dreyfus is guilty. The army ordered him to be guilty and he refused. That is the definition of treason.

Glen Beck:  You can see the pattern.  Alfred, Alsace, alien, Allemagne, allied to the Ottoman Empire which worships Allah.  And what kind of name is Ottoman?  Otto is definitely German.  So Germany and the Ottoman Empire are actually the same country, and Alfred Dreyfus is really a Moslem.