Posts Tagged ‘Francisco Franco’

Switching Places

Posted in General on October 5th, 2011 by Eugene Finerman – 4 Comments

Although most of the time I can pass for a precocious 14 year old, I will confess to a few hints that I might be somewhat older.  For instance,when I saw this headline:

Selena Gomez ‘Creeped Out’ by Franco Character

I first thought of Francisco rather than James.  The two are not easily confused…but perhaps they should be.  In fairness, the Spanish Civil War would have been much more congenial if James had been leading the Fascists…

Our Franco:  All right, Ern.  If I can drink these three bottles of Amontillado in 30 minutes–and keep ’em down–you give me Madrid and rewrite “The Sun Also Rises” to make Gertrude Stein the babe.

Mr. Hemingway:  And if you can’t?

Our Franco:  My army surrenders and I’ll let you punch me in the mouth every time I call you Ern.

And I dare say the Academy Awards would have been more interesting if the other Franco had been the host…

Anne Hathaway:  The nominees for best director are…

Their Franco:  Not allowed to be a Freemason or a Jew.

Anne:  You are joking?  You would be disqualifying half of the Academy’s membership.

Their Franco:  But at least I am not turning them over to Mel Gibson.  You know what he’d do.

Anne:  So the nominees won’t be Darren Aronofsky, the Coen Brothers or David Russell.  We still have Tom Hooper of “The King’s Speech”…

Their Franco:  Is there a Senora Hooper?

Anne:  Ah, no.  He went to Oxford…Our only nominee is David Fincher of “The Social Network” and he has been married!

Their Franco:  I don’t approve of divorce.  This year’s winner for best director is Leo McCarey for “Going My Way”.