Timing clash settled, Obama sets sights on speech

WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama will a deliver rare address to a joint session of Congress next week to introduce a long-awaited plan for jobs and economic growth, but not before being forced to yield in a test of wills with House Speaker John Boehner over not what he would say, but when he would say it.

Obama agreed to schedule his address on Sept. 8 after Boehner balked at the president’s request for a Sept. 7 speech.

From John Bay-Ner (just to be clear):

Dear Alleged President Obama,

Your timing is unfortunate.  As you know, the House of Representatives was planning to take the entire week off to celebrate Mitzi Gaynor’s 80th birthday.  If you don’t mind insulting a great American entertainer, we can permit your brief interruption.  The question is which day.

Obviously, September 4th–Miss Gaynor’s special day–is out of the question.

September 5th might been acceptable except that it turns out to be the birthday of Giocomo Meyerbeer.  I have never heard of him but apparently he was very important to Eric Cantor.  (And you know how those people can whine.)

September 6th would really be in poor taste.  Normally, with the name Boehner, I would be sympathetic to anyone named Leon Czolgolz–but the guy shot President McKinley on that day.  I don’t want to coddle terrorists and I hope you feel the same way.

September 7th is the birthday of Queen Elizabeth I.  We may have cut off all funding for public television, so serving some birthday cake shows that it wasn’t personal.

September 9th is the anniversary of the battle of the Teutoberg Forest.  I don’t know if you should send Germany your congratulations or Italy your condolences.  Either way, it is bad for NATO and not a good day to speak.

September 10th is Saturday and the Moslem Sabbath–not that I am hinting.  But it is also the day that Qin Shi Huang died.  He was China’s first emperor, and if you think that we can afford to offend our creditors….

You will notice that September 8th seems to be open.  However, it is the wedding anniversary of George III and Charlotte of Mecklenberg-Strelitz.  Yes, we revolted against him, but it had nothing to do with his marriage–a sacred institution even between an English lunatic and a German cow.  Why don’t you first get written permission from Queen Elizabeth II to speak on her great-great-great-great-grandparents’ wedding anniversary, and then we’ll consider your request.

We can discuss the specific time later–but I am a big fan of “Burn Notice.’

Yours,

John B.

Tags: John Boehner

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