Your RDA of Irony

Putting the Sin in Synergy

Brown Campaign Apologizes to Whitman Over Slur

A political aide to Jerry Brown, the Democratic candidate for governor in California was heard suggesting that  the Republican candidate Meg Whitman is “a whore.”

The Whitman campaign expressed its outrage.

 

And so do I.  With a MBA from Harvard, Meg Whitman would be a madam.   A Harvard pimp would know exactly where to put Adam Smith’s invisible hand.  Just imagine the pro-active, synergized win-win managerial cliches that Madam Whitman would bring to the brothel.  For the sadists and masochists, there would be a frequent flayer program.  (With 25,000 welts, you are upgraded to a Gucci face mask.)  Since Ms. Whitman would register her business as a medical research center–Whorvard– the client’s investments would be tax-deductible.

Of course, the workers (alias stakeholders, teammates, add your favorite HR gibberish) would have to be downsized, and I don’t mean replacing Ukrainians with Thais.  Instead of wasting money on forged green cards and penicillin, the MBA brothel would replace those superfluous humans with cheaper and far more compliant plastic dolls: the Whitman Vamplers.  All will have pre-recorded cassettes to exclaim the client’s manhood and unparalleled stamina.  Custom recordings can also accommodate fetishes and political preferences.  (Senator David Vitter likes his dolls to talk dirty about Charles Darwin.)  In short, the Whitman vamplers would be everything a client would want in a second wife. 

And Meg Whitman offers the same managerial efficiency to government.  What MBAs would do to a brothel, she’ll do to California.

p.s.  Let’s not forget the historic significance of this day:  http://finermanworks.com/your_rda_of_irony/2007/10/09/leif-ericson-day/

Leave a Reply