Today’s Top Headlines
Calif. utility stumbles on 1.4M years old fossils
Company spokesman concedes that it was an unusually long wait for a service call. “But we did specify that the repairman was scheduled some time between the Cenozoic and 6 p.m.”
Trial for hunter who shot husband begins
The trial of an American woman who said she shot and killed her husband because she thought he was a bear began in Eastern Canada on Monday. Mary Beth Harshbarger told authorities that she mistook her 42-year-old husband for a bear while the two were hunting in central Newfoundland in 2006. She has pleaded not guilty.
Police were doubtful. “Since the husband was neither Italian nor Jewish, he couldn’t have had that much body hair. Besides, she should have noticed the mistake by the time she arrived at the taxidermist’s.”
Archaeologists find theater box at Herod’s palace
Israeli archaeologists have excavated a lavish, private theater box in a 400-seat facility at King Herod’s winter palace in the Judean desert.
Archaeologists at Jerusalem’s Hebrew University say the room provides further evidence of King Herod’s famed taste for extravagance.
“Although we have yet to find any veils, we did find the playbill for the original production of ‘Salome‘. Turns out, it was just a high school dance recital. In fact, Salome only got third billing after Cleopatra Weinblatt and Octavia Shapiro.
“Our research shows that this is the likely site of the death of John the Baptist. Wednesdays were open audition nights for aspiring prophets, and this was a tough audience.”