Your RDA of Irony

Investment Opportunities in Aztec Bonds

I am of an age where I now routinely am invited to a “complimentary” dinner and a show.  The show is ostensibly titled:  “How To Plan For Your Retirement.”  It actually is “A Fool and His Money”, with me presumably in the title role.  Lured by the free–if mediocre–dinner, I merely have to hear a sales presentation by an investment advisor, who will offer me wonderful opportunities for my golden years.

The local newspapers recently wrote of one such opportunity:  Turkish Bonds that guaranteed an annual return of ten percent.  Now, how can the Turkish government afford such generosity?  Perhaps, it is still expecting the Ottoman army to take Vienna.  Another explanation is that the investment advisors are lying.  Judging from their subsequent arrest for fraud, I’ll let you decide.  Perhaps their sales brochure said–in very fine print, “in one year, you can only expect ten percent of your original investment.”  I am sure that is what their lawyers will insist.

So, did these arrests and the headline revelations suddenly stop the invitations to dinner and bankruptcy?  Certainly not.  The police didn’t arrest all these “investment advisors”.  In fact, the Turkish bond grifters are certainly out on bail and they probably now are peddling Aztec bonds.  But who would be that gullible?  Anyone who accepts the  free dinner invitation: the RSVP announces your availability as a victim.  The chicken won’t be half as plucked.

The dinner guests will be subjected to three courses of food and twenty courses of  sociopathic salesmenship:  charm, empathy and fear.  Most people will end up signing away their life savings and possibly a confession to the murder of President Garfield.  Only the most heroic and stubborn will successfully resist.  If they are not thrown out before dessert, they really will have gotten their free meal.  But even they will doubt if it was worth it.

p.s.  Let’s not forget the historic significance of this day:  http://finermanworks.com/your_rda_of_irony/2009/09/05/the-tsars-shaving-grace/

http://finermanworks.com/your_rda_of_irony/2008/09/05/no-good-deed/

Leave a Reply