Your RDA of Irony

The Chicago Tribulation

The Chicago Tribune has endorsed Barak Obama in Illinois’ Democratic primary. I can imagine the first draft of that editorial….

The Chicago Tribune is not in the habit of hugging lepers. However, if we must choose between a leper with six fingers and half a nose or a pariah in complete decay, we prefer Barak Obama.

Of course, we really would not want Democrats to read the Tribune; and if we didn’t need the money, we snatch this newspaper from their grubby hands. We console ourselves with the thought that they might get papercuts. And if a vulgar, subversive Democrat should be reading this editorial, we would like to tell you the least harmful way to vote.

We endorse Mr. Obama. He is indeed the candidate of hope. For instance, he dresses better than we ever could have hoped. (Clarence Thomas is another sartorial exception but he wears Antonin Scalia’s hand-me-downs.) More importantly, a man of hope usually doesn’t have a prayer. We like that in Democrats. It is that old McGovern charm…and we never tire of it.

However, this is the real reason for our endorsement: Mr. Obama is not Hillary Clinton. She is a ruthless, amoral, megalomanical sociopath; she would do and say anything to win the election. It is obvious that she was raised Republican and we will never forgive her for defecting.

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