Your RDA of Irony

Ottomanipulation

TURKEY TAKES STEP TOWARD IRAQ OPERATION

Associated Press
Oct 15th, 2007 | ANKARA, Turkey — The Turkish government will seek parliamentary approval for a military operation against Kurdish rebels in northern Iraq, a government spokesman said Monday, taking action on one of two major issues straining relations with Washington.

The United States informed Turkey that any attack on Northern Iraq would be considered an annexation of all of Iraq. “Yep,” President Bush telephoned the Turkish Premier, “You can have Iraq back. I didn’t sign this Treaty of Versace, so as far as we’re concerned you guys still own Iraq, Syria, Arabia and–well maybe you could sublet Israel. From what Cheney tells me, the Middle East was a lot better when you were running it. And between us, Ottoman Empire isn’t as silly a name as Turkey.”

Anticipating objections to the restoration of the Ottoman Empire, the White House promised to arrest Peter O’Toole and Omar Sharif; the rest of the cast had the foresight to be already dead.

  1. Bob Kincaid says:

    I know that Peter O’Toole is pickled as opposed to passed-on, but Omar Sharif? What? Is he just resting?

  2. Omar keeps busy with a bridge column, co-written with a Tania Hirsch (So there is hope for Arab and Jewish peace). He was in the news for slugging a parking valet. For a man in his 70s, he must keep fit.

  3. Alan says:

    And naming an empire for a footstool — that’s better than “Turkey”?

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