Your RDA of Irony

Retirement Planning for Paul Newman

Paul Newman has announced from retirement from films.  Well, he already made one “Exodus“.  His last role apparently was a voice-over portrayal of a jalopy in “Cars.” 

I would have suggested these possibilities for a valedictory film. 

Very Cold Hand Luke: Forty years after his death, Luke is still attached to the chain gang. The guards just don’t seem to notice.

Hud II: The sociopathic charmer, just retired from the Board of Enron, is still abusing Patricia Neal–greasing her walker and punching holes in her Depends.

Of course, the perfect finale would reunite him with Robert Redford in The Boys from Bolivia. Butch and Sun Dance are lured from retirement by the offer of a full presidential pardon by President Truman if they succeed in completing a secret mission: stop the cloning of Adolf Hitler. Butch and Sun Dance are prepared to shoot their way through Argentina and Paraguay, but they are persuaded by a pair of con-artists, Henry Gondorff and Johnny Hooker, to try a scam. While Butch and Sun Dance capture Berlin to divert the Nazis, the con-artists will impersonate Carl Jung and Werner von Braun to charm their way into Dr. Mengele’s lab. The absconded Hitler zygotes are then served as fritattas at Juan and Evita Peron’s wedding.

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